It Happened!

Today, I was getting new tires and the guy doing them said, "My niece wuz homeschooled and I ain't sayin' she ain't got education, but her people-skills is not good."


I just sat there for a moment, first trying to pick out the meaning from his very broken English.  (This was not my beloved Mr. Holmes, btw.)  Then I realized he was saying, "Homeschoolers are unsocialized" and "I base this wholly on my observations of one family member, yet it surely fits anyone else who is homeschooled."


I ran through the stock answers, the replies from kind to scathing.  But he was not sharing in a back-and-forth, he was commenting and moving on.  He did not CARE that it was offensive or even hostile, I don't think it occurred to him at all. So, what to do?  Mutter to myself about it?  Lead the conversation back around to it?  Mail him some hand-outs?  Slash his tires?  


I went on the defensive end of things, wanting to line out every interaction we have, naming friends and accomplishments and references, as if I were going on trial.  That's no good, and in the end would have accomplished nothing.  I just...I did not think it would happen to me!  hahaha!  These are the narrow-minded insights heaped on OTHER homeschoolers, I have had amazingly positive (outside my own family that is) feedback and encouragement when homeschooling even comes up.


I ended up pointing out that everyone has varying degrees of social skills, no matter how they were brought up.  I said that after the isolation of school at no other time are we put with only people our very own age because it's assumed we have the very same abilities.  That learning to get along with any age older or younger was a vital life skill, but some people are very shy or naturally withdrawn.


I think I used too many words.  I should have said, "You are an idiot" and been done.  

Progress

I have a couple projects going, one is to clean out the house and rearrange everything, which leads me to wash walls and scrub things like door frames and light switches and ceiling fans. Part of this is sanity-keeping, part is because after a certain amount of time, general cleaning just is not enough to actually CLEAN a house and the other is I love to move things around, to have a different view when I wake up, a different path as I move from room to room.


My second project is along the same lines, I am ready for something different in other aspects of my life. I just hope other aspects are ready for me. And while I hope, I wait.

Today is library day, the sacred jewel in my schedule. With camping last week, I did not finish my previous load, so I feel particularly luxurious in that I still have a couple books on my desk AND the whole library laid out in front of me, waiting. I love the rows of books in all colors, anything could be inside the covers.


I love that anticipation, I like to have things lined up, I think I have summer plans and camping plans and travel plans through this time next year and beyond not just because I like being busy, but because I like the thrill of waiting. As a kid, I liked long car rides, I never minded waiting for vacations and holidays. I like to imagine how it will go, how things will be, places I will see and so on.


It's not just some things that are worth waiting for, anything is. That time without pressure, the waiting, the thrill of getting what you waited for, that's a gift in exchange for the payoff. Happily, my kids have the same ability, to be content with how things are, hopeful for how things could be and able to be happy with nearly any outcome.

I am blessed with them, these leggy young people who eat and make noise and laundry and ask endless questions-which I thought they would grow out of, but curiosity is another gift, one that serves a person well throughout life. Delving into new things, sure, but moreso the ability to adapt an idea or change your mind or seek more information without feeling challenged or cornered.


The desire to know and to absorb and accept, that's curiosity in a nutshell. It's just up to the mama to know and accept the intellect of the kid can encompass planets and insects and Pokemon and presidents and religion, but not where the mustard is. Think of how often you go on vacation or to a relative's house and dump your stuff in your room and head out to see what's there. That is a child's life-they just need a landing place for their clothes and their head, the rest is running around all day seeing and doing and catching up. Sleep is when they grow because the rest of the day, they just don't have time for it.

Mud pies and tadpoles and rainy afternoons with their DS or a movie they have seen 12 times before. It's never wasted time, what's down in the well comes up in the bucket. Time to absorb and contemplate, to scheme and daydream, to dance and create and play and do nothing, these are cornerstones of childhood, not schedules and quizzes, tests and grades, pressure to know something by a certain date or age just because someone else somewhere else decided that was right. There is time for all of that.  Later.