All roads lead to roam: Thirteen

Thirteen years ago today I was at the hospital being induced. I got the IV at 8 and at 11:03, Chandler was born.

I had thought she was going to be another boy and when they said, "It's a girl!" I turned to Matt and asked, "Is that okay?" hahaha! He was thrilled, so was I. I have never wanted anything in the world as much as I wanted that baby girl.

That afternoon, she had been taken away from me, I had the flu and was running around 104. They worried I would give her the flu. By the time she was 12 hours old, she had been put in an isolette, force-fed with a syringe to 'avoid nipple confusion' which choked her, so they had her flown in a helicopter to Huntsville in a thunderstorm. They told Matt to find someone to drive him because after the baby dies, it's hard for the parents to get themselves safely home.

He drove himself. The nurses came in and put all of the 'baby' things into a box and took my balloons and flowers and put them in a cabinet and shut it. I called my Daddy at 2 a.m. bawling.

I called my OB and had checked out by 7 the next morning and was at the hospital by 8. She had had a CAT scan, had 7 IV needle holes, was not being fed because of the choking incident and I could only hold her for 15 minutes. They pumped her stomach over and over because they thought she must have choked on meconium. That night, I slept like a rock, getting the last of the meds out of my system. I was then a Force To Be Reckoned With. Through sheer willpower and a HUGE speech which should have won me an Oscar, I got her out of the hospital by the 2nd morning. They wanted to keep her for more observation. Every cell in me sang out that she was healthy and they were doing far more harm than good.

I walked out with her.

After she came home, I had none of the PPD that plagued me after Jake was born. She was a listless baby, unhappy and fussy. I could barely get her to latch on to nurse. After 2 days, Jake came home-he had the flu as well and had stayed with family until he felt better. Channa was asleep when he got home and Matt shuffled him off to have a bath. When she woke up, she was fussy and flailed and make mad sounds. I took her in the bathroom so Jake could see her. He said, "Hi, Sissy!" and she calmed immediately.

From that point on, she was his baby, I just got to feed and clean her. She would belly laugh so hard she would get the hiccups when he would make faces for her. She would roll toward him, grab at him, she would lean on him and fall asleep, she moved into his room by 6 months of age because she wanted to be next to him ALL the time. Her first steps were to Jake.

Her Daddy and her brother were her whole world, she would not even look at me, smile for me, coo-nothing. She arched when I picked her up, she clawed at my face when I tried to kiss her. She weaned at 9 months because I don't think she could stand being held to nurse. I pumped for another few months, until Ben was well on the way.

She was stand-offish her whole toddlerhood. She was a quiet child, she could write and read by 3, she drew amazing pictures. She danced, she swam, she could ride a bike the first time she got on one. If she saw it done, she could just do it. She has never faltered in her self-assurance that if someone else could do it, so could she.

She used to go sit with other families at the playground, sliding into the picnic table and reaching for some chips. She would walk into the lake until the water was over her head and we would run in and fish her out. Not just once or twice, either.

She never complained. Once, Jake threw up ALL over her, in a tent, in the COLD, in a primitive campsite with no power or water, 6 hours from home. I had to pour water from the creek on her hair and face and she stood there, shivering and shaking so hard the water came off in huge droplets and she never once made a sound.


		When Benny came along a few months shy of her second birthday, she thought I had him as a toy for her. She has been a Jr. Mama for both boys since she could talk. She's far more strict than I am... Her brothers were her whole world for many years. We have only been blessed with girls for the past 3 years!

She's done okay so far, in life.

Disney twice, she's been to D.C., she's seen the Smokies and has camped out at least 200 nights. She's been to St. Louis, Atlanta, Savannah, Montgomery, Jackson, Macon, seen Little Rock, been to Oklahoma-making that her 15th state to visit.
Lived in Nashville, spent a month in the camper traveling all over Florida's Atlantic coast. She's homeschooled her entire life, never spent an hour in a school, never had a textbook, never had a test to cram for. She's never been bullied or had her bra snapped by some stupid boy.
She has dogs and cats and guinea pigs, she has brothers who adore her, friends who are about the best girls in the world

This year she'll add another state, another couple of months in the camper, all totaled, and another trip to Disney World. She'll go backpacking for the first time, help paint the house. Not a bad life for a kid.