Contented Days

We are not religious and even if we were, Jesus was born in March. Christians took the date away from the pagans, it's not based on anything more than an easy transition during a takeover of a culture. All of the traditions of the holiday are taken from another culture and somehow that ends up meaning we feel obligated to spend money.

Matt and I have always been uneasy about Christmas, both coming from divorced parents, in the beginning of our lives together, it was a gauntlet to run and no matter what, someone was pissed off or slighted. My mother, his mother, my father, his father, then our grandparents/extended families and the whole holiday was spent running around, feeling guilty because we could not afford gifts for everyone-several years we did not even buy for each other. We had to leave before food was served sometimes to make it to the next dinner so that host would not feel bad, we ate leftovers sometimes because someone lost the coin toss when a lunch started at noon here and at 1 an hour away.

Then came the aftermath of finding a place for everything the kids got from people who did not really know them or who used the chance to pass along 'last years' model of a toy repackaged as 'new' so they could give 'this years' model to their own child. Hey, we were poor, best to be grateful we were even thought of, I guess.

As soon as we could afford to, we started leaving town for the holidays. It was easier to have everyone mad equally than have one or two upset at their perceived slight at our eclipsed visits. Matt's mom caught on the quickest and by our second holiday flee, she foot the bill for our hotel for a night as our gift. My father moved his dinner back to the Sunday before the holiday and things have become much less stressed.

We did not flee the village this year, we decided instead to make the holiday our own in some way. We celebrated Solstice on Monday with friends. When Matt came home Wednesday the 23rd, he patched the leak in the roof and then we erected the metal pole, aired grievances and had feats of strength as laid out in Seinfeld's 'Festivus' episode. Then we went inside and opened all our gifts and had pasta.

Today is Christmas Eve and I took the few decorations down and the stuff off the tree other than the lights. Last night I made a HUGE crock pot full of Russian stew using my cool new food processor. I think we will still be eating it in the new year...

Next year, Ben, the baby, will be 11, and we will all sit down between now and then to decide what we want to do with the time Matt will have off for the holiday, but this is the last year I am spending money on a made-up holiday, a manufactured obligation. I have reached my peace with it, I think we all have. It's not a celebration of our religion, our 'family' is no longer a unit and it's not good usage of our money to just spend on new things when some 'old' things, like the van, are not paid for.



The Spreadin' of the Roofin' Patch

The one-legged dance of joy