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| the 45 seconds he slept as a baby |
Tomorrow is my oldest child's 18th birthday. I have celebrated every milestone, seen every first, witnessed many 'lasts', thankfully without being fully aware every time. The last time he held my hand to cross the road or the last time I had to help tie his shoes, the last time he came running in my room in tears over the death of a character in a book. At 2 in the morning.
He still has so many firsts ahead, big ones. First love, first job, first home and at some point maybe a first child of his own. I see him, he is so full of potential and possible adventure that his eyes shine and dance. He has a heart that is huge and soft, he has patience to rival any saint, his capacity for life is boundless, he is kind and forgiving, he is helpful and fair.
I have seen him nearly every day of his life and what a gift that has been to me. I have seen him play trickster on his siblings and dad, I have seen him mutter endearments to the dog while wrapping her like a baby and toting her around. I have seen his temper flare like an inferno and then cool nearly as quickly. I have seen him struggle over things that came so easily to me that I was no help when he needed a lifeline. Reading was ever an issue until we discovered he was chasing the words around the page. Learning writing was accomplished a single letter at a time over and over and over. Numbers still show up backward in his work and his spelling is often questionable, but his capacity and love of learning are boundless.
My beautiful, sweet boy. What a wonderful thing it has been to share your life, to see you grow up into a strong and kind young man. You and your siblings are the best thing I have ever done.
I hope you never lose your belief in magical things, that you will always be so certain you can best the bad guy, that you never get tired of cheesy monster movies and that you never back away from trying something new. I hope life gives you many challenges and friends to see you through and I hope on your last day on earth, you will still know in the very core of your being that your mama loves you. You are amazing.
