Remember back when I found that article about 10 things you (the collective you) do to make yourself miserable? Maybe that's not the exact wording, but the first point was 'ascribing intent' and it meant to automatically assume the other person's intentions-usually with a negative bent. You were not cut off in traffic-it was clearly attempted murder. Your friends actually hate you because they had lunch without you.
I have been really working on "Is this actually happening or am I being a crazy person?" and it's made a HUGE difference!
The second point was one I was sure did not apply to me, so I did not act on it, just put it in my back brain-burner a while. It's basically saying your entire life has always been about you-so stop that (all the time anyway). That makes sense-it's YOUR life. And because-husband and three kids-I am not the center of my own Universe.
Then I started watching myself...and...I really am. I know, I am blogging about myself thinking about myself and it's not really coming across that I can learn from that thought and be happier. I am not going to blog third person, though I totally would use the royal 'we'. We received our ridiculously bright purple female urination device (pee funnel!) last week and we declare it a success! No more squatting in the woods, woot woot. So now if you see 'We Was Here!' peed into a snowbank along a trail...you'll know it was me! I mean us...hmmm. That IS confusing,
The point is, it is totally human nature to hear someone share an experience or problem and then relate it to something you have been through. It makes this thing called empathy and it's nice to have. Relating to others creates bonds, people like to know they are on familiar/common ground. The thing is, I can come up with a related incident-and yammer about it-for nearly everything that comes along.
So please, IRL friends, I am trying to internalize and make it less the Esther Show and more Esther Can Be Quiet at Times. I refuse to totally reform, it's how I have dealt with life for decades and I don't see a 180 anywhere in sight. But over the next few months, I WILL be paying more attention and slowly making my way toward some middle ground in where I don't need to make it about me, I can just try to understand and offer support.
I can do this!