I was talking to Jacki yesterday about the need for a continuation of rituals and acknowledgments for various milestones. Yay, first steps and driving a car and first job. But what about-first long ass chin hair from nowhere? First gray pube? Or what set the whole train of thought off for me-a long ass chin hair on my neck! WHY?
There are many-first time your joints pop after sitting for more than 10 minutes, first time you realized you should have started using moisturizer sooner. The first time you actually totally forget something and don't just say you did to get out of going. The first time you thought, "Eh, that's fine." when looking at your outfit that is more comfortable than fashionable. Okay, well, that's been every day of my life so far, but for some-stretchy pants and a loose top are a revelation. Or that day you look in the mirror and realize the stretch marks from having babies have faded to silver stripes all over your tummy and decide that it's fierce. Like a tiger. rawr. A ghost tiger. boorawr. Practically a Marine.
When you first realized you will never be able to retire. When you looked at your child and they are the age you were when you were pregnant with them. And they are so, so painfully young and mostly naive and you wonder how you both made it out alive. Or wonder what the hell you were doing having sex at that age in the first place.
For Matt it's been the amazing crop of hair on his ears. We named his first grey mustache hair after my mother, the second after an aunt and then there were too many. He used to pull them out, but he'd look mangey at this point.
I dyed my hair (usually) back to it's natural field mouse brown until I was 40. I did go off the rails a few times and hit red and in the summers it goes blonder by itself, but brown for the most part. It's about 30% gray now and I can't decide which way to go. I actually really like the silver, but silver and light brown are not pretty. So I am adding the first time you decide to just leave it be for a while. Rest is healthy.
There are firsts for 20 and 30 year olds, too. The first time you cleaned the whole house and it wasn't for company coming over. The first time you got up early and got going on something for real instead of thinking about it. The first time you saved up for a vacation and planned the whole thing. The first time you ended a relationship because it wasn't healthy any more. The first time you realized no one really cares.
So, there are all kinds of rituals and traditions for all kinds of firsts. But really-no one wants to see a pic of your scary eyebrow hair gone awry or anything else to do with aging because none of it is cute, at all. We need some occasion markers! I suggested rum and Coke and a nap for most events. I am open for other suggestions, though there's little room for improvement there. If it's early in the day, I guess vanilla syrup in Coke and a couple episodes of something not at all educational would suffice. As long as the laundry is done. I have yet to have my first, "Oh, that can wait" laundry moment. The main thing is, plain Coke isn't enough.
Celebratory food suggestions: grilled cheese with pickled okra. Tomatoes with goat cheese and arugula tossed in vinaigrette. Brownies made with Red Stag in the place of water. Corn chowder with rosemary crackers, chicken salad with grapes and spinach, Baked fish and tater tots. Okay, well, that's actually just my lunch menu for the week. Though really, you can't go wrong with a grilled cheese and speaking of which, I met a friend for lunch last week in Athens and we ate at LuVicis and they grill their cheese in butter, it was ridiculously good. Also, sweet potato fries. Afterward we went next door to the mercantile and I touched 500 things. I don't have OCD (that way) I just like to touch stuff and they had a ton off it.
I will be thinking of ways to mark these uncelebrated firsts as I head out this afternoon for another 'first', My very first set of bifocal glasses.
