Play Audition

 Chandler tried out for a musical today with Keilee, she was amazing.  Just after we got there, she was called up to read lines, which she and Kei did with a British accent.  hehehe!  Then, several of the little girls were singing church songs for their singing audition and she gets up there and launches into My Eyes from Dr. Horrible.  YES!  She messed up one word, but went right back to it. 

This one is so funny, Chan's up there, looking over her lines, listening to the director and BAM, she sees the Dalmatian tissue box sitting there and it freaked her out!  hahaha
"What the..."

 

The lighting was awful, I did not want to use my flash.  I was the only person taking pictures, I wonder what's up with everyone else!  

Yes, and I was THE geek mom who pinned her number to her shirt.  Apparently past a certain age, the cool kids pin them to their PANTS.  Oh.  

Karen is taking them to see the list tomorrow, to see if they both were cast.  I won't sleep again tonight, I swear, I am SO much more stressed than the kids about this stuff.  Chan turned to me AFTER we got there and said, "So...what do you think I should sing?"  Ack!

My roommate in college was auditioning for a summer program at Julliard.  I have been around the diva type and heard the same song about 900 times the weeks before the audition.  Chan did not even hum this past week.  I think there is something in between the two.


I love her composure, she isn't rattled or silly.  I told Matt I was glad she was not me, that she did not have my fears.  I got to thinking on the way home, it's because when she goes to these things, ALL of the other kids are doing the same thing she is. Some are good, some are terrible, but they all get up there.  She's never heard anyone suggest it's a scary experience to be on stage because everyone wants to be on stage.  She's never been judged by peers for what she's wearing or her hair or...anything.  The girls all tell each other how fantastic they are.  hahaha!  And they ARE great girls, all so smart and wildly talented.  But, it reminded me that homeschooling is a gift. 

She sent word a few minutes before her turn that she was singing something by Tori Amos.  Okay...that could go either way.  Matt and I held a quick conference about potentially interfering with her choice while Karen sang and danced a bawdy tale of seduction to demonstrate the worst that could possibly happen.  We decided to sit on our hands and let her make her own decision.  Then on stage, she announced she was singing a song from Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog.

I think she did a great job, especially considering the time she spent working on it, LOL!! 

Zeppie Helps Make the Bed

Valerian Root-2 week update

At this point in time, I can say that Valerian root has made a huge difference, enough so that I plan to never be without it again.  I take 2-3 at night with the melatonin.  I sleep through the night now, I have not slept through  the night more than once or twice since I was in elementary school.  I wake up feeling awake, not groggy-which is another 'thing' about me, I don't wake up pretty or well.  Or, didn't.  

I take 1 at a time, usually with food, during the day if I will be stressed.  It works for good or bad stress, it just takes the tenseness away, nothing at all like antidepressants, which kills every thought in your head.  I think clearly, just don't get worked up or dismissive, which can be just as bad.

I have joined an online list site, remember the milk dot com and had everyone in the house join it.  It e-mails out daily reminders if we have anything we need to go do or take care of at home that day.  I can add things at any time, any of us can.  That fixes any and all 'what's going on' and 'what are we doing today' and is an easy way to remind us what we need to get done on any given day without me listing it off like a drill sergeant.  That has helped with my memory issues, I can jot it when I think of it and it will remind me, I don't walk around thinking there is something I am forgetting as much. 

My next personal goal is to nail this last 5 pounds.  That will give me 25 for the year, I am not sure if I can do it by the end of the year, but that's the plan anyway.  I have not been very well behaved lately, too many goodies and too many cold days that need cookies or brownies or hot cocoa to make them bearable.

A Wednesday

Not much going on around here, thank goodness!  I love blocks of time without stress or pressure, they seem to be too far apart, but I guess I do have them more than I sit and acknowledge them.

At home, we have been setting up against the cold, getting the animals a cozy place, pulling out heaters and blankets and heavy clothes.  We had already repaired the shed over the summer to keep it nice and cool in there.  For winter, we put heavy plastic flaps over the openings for the dogs and cats to get in and put in 2 big heat lamps.  It's 20-30 degrees warmer in there than outside-plus no wind, we opted to put the pigs in the shed instead of the house for now.  They have a little heat lamp right in their cage, we checked them today and decided it might be too warm in there, they had abandoned their houses and were laying belly-down on the floor of their crate.  Oops.  I took off one of the panels of blankets and plastic wrap to give them some air.

Our haul, pre-World Market!

I loved the colors, had to snap this one going down the road.

We have not done much lately, other than the shopping trip Saturday, I have been home a while.  We have done some math, some science...mostly we have been doing our own thing, just passing the time together.  This morning, I sang about 20 songs trying to get the kids interested in trying out for a musical this coming weekend.  It did not work very well, but I did remember how much I love to belt out a good song at top volume and ran through my John Denver and James Taylor repertoire and everything I knew from various musicals.  We finally hauled out a Christmas carol book and the kids did not know any Christmas songs from it.  We are learning a couple.

The other day, I was playing with natural lighting in here in my room.  Of course the kids were dragged into the experiment!

Debt and Money

So, we paid off the Discover card this week!  I had planned it to be paid off in Feb 2011, so I am a little ahead of the game!  The Citicard will take...until 2012 to be paid off-though it's been canceled for a year now.  December of 2012 on my current budget.  *sigh*  The van will be paid off by then and Jake's braces will be paid for by April of 2011.  Slowly but surely...

I was able to score some clothes at the thrift store yesterday at a great deal.  I am not sure what was going on with my luck, but nearly everything Ben agreed to was marked down when I got to the register!  I still need more pants for him and more for Chan, she needs a good jacket and Ben still needs shoes.  I am going to pop back in next week and see if I have any more luck.  They prefer thrift store clothes because they are not stiff or scratchy, so that works out very well!

We canceled our Christmas travel plans.  If I am going to dip into savings, it's going toward house repairs, a newer couch, a better mattress for Chan-SOMETHING I will be able to lay my hands on.  We have made a list of things we need to repair or replace around the house-like the toilet seat in the hall bathroom.  Eep!  We want to do some day hikes and maybe take a quick camping trip.  Matt has 10 days off.

I have paid ahead on the van loan, so I decided today that I can skip it in January and that will nearly make up for the days Matt will not get paid for over Christmas.  I am glad to have that to tide us over, I just am not thrilled about using up my slack that way.  Matt has a couple gigs as well, so it will be okay.  I REALLY hope that's the only forced time off we will have to juggle.  That was so stressful last year, but boy howdy did it ever whip me into shape to stick to my budget and get rid of our debt.  That debt is like a soul suck.

So, in February when they announce the September dates, I will make our Disney reservations and buy the tickets and pay for the campsite, in April I will be able to report the braces are paid off,  that gives me May-August to funnel the Discover and braces payments into savings specifically for the trip.  That's $1000!  Gah, I hate there is that much money leaving our bank account and going to pay for stuff we could not wait to get.  I truly hope to never be back in that situation again.  It's nearly all-other than braces and the van-things we did not need, just wanted, even the van is a stretch to say we needed a $16k vehicle, though after several cars in a row with multi-hundred dollar repair bills, it HAS been nice just paying for oil changes and tires and little $40 tinkering repairs for a few years.  

I hope, from now on, to be much wiser with our money! 

Birthday

We went to Chuck E Cheese's!

Rock Stars!  Woo!

 

Gotta love the group shots...

Ben at 9 last night, he did not make it to his birth time, poor pup!
He's asleep in the hammock in case you can't figure out what's going on here. 

So, we had cake a day later

I hope your wish comes true, darling boy.  : )

Eleven

I am nearly in tears , but still very happy.  My baby is 11.  The BABY, y'all, my little 'un, the 'least one of the bunch' as my Grandmother always called the youngest.  Her youngest child was about a foot taller than his 5 siblings, so I am not sure WHY she worded it that way.  hahaha!

Ben was totally unplanned, we had our prince and princess and were content being a family of 4.  Everything in the world is pre-priced and pre-packaged for a family of 4, that one extra kid throws everything off balance, restaurant tables nearly all seat 4, ticket packages are often 'a family 4-pack', a hotel room sleeps...4.  Even cars assume 2 adult butts in front and 2 kid butts in back, even with a seat made for three, that middle seat is tiny and uncomfortable.  I know, I was the youngest of 3.

When I found out I was pregnant, I came out of the bathroom with the stick.  Matt was on the foot of the bed, eyes wide, Jake on one side, Chan on the other.  I showed him the plus sign the same way I would have shakily pointed out a huge snake in the corner of the room.  Move slowly, don't startle it.  LOL

I was not thrilled.  It took a couple weeks to warm up to the idea, Chan was a very difficult baby and she was just-at 13 months-starting to get easier to deal with.  After a nightmare run of colic with her, difficultly breastfeeding, dealing with her seeming to hate me as she would scream like I just pinched her if I tried to hold her for more than strictly needed for maintainance purposes.  She screamed in the car, at the store, if we visited anyone, if anyone came over.  She was happy only in her swing or with her Daddy.  And, I was having another one. 

I had a very difficult pregnancy, I was sick more than the first 2 times, Chan was in therapy several times a week, both at home and at the center in Cullman.  At 18 months, she had stopped talking, making eye contact, reaching for things.  She spent her days lining up toys according to size or color or shape.  WOE to you if you messed up the line.  She was an avid computer user, she could type 3-4 word commands into games.  She was freaky good at the games that had letters or numbers that popped up on screen and you popped them by hitting that key on the keyboard.

 

I had Benjamin Cade on December 1st, he was not due until the 15th, his original due date was Christmas Day and that was changed after a couple ultrasounds.  I had eclampsia and my blood pressure was through the roof, I had several seizures after he was born, I don't recall ANY of the experience, I was hooked up to a dozen different things and would throw up (then, just dry heave) if I even turned my head-meds make me sick.  He was 5.10 and 17 inches long.  He was so small!

They kept bringing him to me and he was SO heavy, I had to keep sending him back, I was so weak from the induction and the magnesium.  I remember talking crazy, things like telling HUGE lies about stupid things, having a fondness for white rats was one of them.  I still can't figure where that came from.  The nurse looked at my chart and told me point-blank to stop having babies.


I got off the antidepressants a few months after Ben was born, I had to stay on them until they all decided I was not going to have PPD again.  

After he was born, everything I was worried about-Chan being autistic, Ben being a colicky baby-it all just...wasn't an issue.  Chan started talking, stopped being a pill.  She did things like colored Ben's eyelids with a marker-in fact, she poked his eyes quite a bit.  LOL  He would blink ALL the time when she was around, so he could both keep an eye on her and keep his eyes shut.  By the time he could sit up well, he was her pet.  When he turned 4, she told me she would take over his education from here on.  

Ben has been like a balm, his very presence still makes Chan light up.  I called him our 'cherry on top' for years.  Dull vanilla mama and daddy base, Chan's the chocolate syrup, so dark and delicious.  Jake is the whipped cream, all light and sweet and Ben is the cherry, the perfect topping, round and sweet and cheerful.  He, like his brother and his sister, has brought me more joy than I could ever have imagined, I love him so much, I can't believe I ever wasted a second worrying about a family of 5 in a world designed for 4.  We've made our own world and I am so proud to be the mother of three.