All the Disadvantages of Home

 I remember going to my aunt's house in Kentucky when I was a kid and we would sit outside some nights and watch the heat lightening fork through the sky.  She lived on the edge of the Great Plains, her yard was huge and flat as a pancake. 

Here, the greater weather remains a total mystery.  In leafless months, we can see toward the southwest-where most of our weather comes from-and have some idea of what's out there.  In summer, the press of trees blocks views in every direction except for north-where hardly anything ever happens.

Last night, 2 things happened.  First, there was weather to the north and second, I got the willies scared right out of me.  You'd think, being a girl, I'd not have much willie, but you'd be quite in the wrong.

Since I titled this 'the disadvantages of home' I should elaborate.  I do love this house and where we live-though I am lonely more often than not.  I would not want to leave here unless the state of Tennessee was involved in the final destination.  I don't really mind the press of trees, I planted most of them myself.  What I do mind is the road to the house.  When we moved here 7 years ago, it was wide enough to dodge a cat  if you slowed down and pulled over a bit and that was about it.  They scrape and scrape, every 6 weeks or so, and now the road is wide enough for 2 semi trucks to wave at one another as they whiz past.  I hate it.

the 6 lane superhighway to service the the 2 houses on our road.

The county came last fall and sprayed herbicides in a path 4 feet wide on either side of all the roads out here, including ours-they did skip the obvious 'yard', but soaked the rest of it.  Everything died: trees, bushes, grass, flowers, lilies.  There were brown dead swaths lining the roads.  They stayed dead all winter and into the spring and in April, green showed up. This green quickly grew into 3 foot tall thistle which went to seed within 6 weeks and the downy fluff is still blowing all over every time there is the slightest breeze.  It has taken root in the yard and we can't walk barefoot any more due to the spiked leaves-no matter how short we keep it.

They have pushed the road from 9 to 14 feet wide in the past 3 years and every time they come through, they scrape more into the yard and into the embankment across the road.  Another 3 feet and the mailbox will fall over.  They have already pushed it into the cow fenceline that runs next to the road, the posts are leaning in now.  They have demolished the water meter boxes on our end and Judy's box as well.  They came by to spray again a couple weeks ago and I went out and yelled to get them to NOT spray IN MY FENCE and they left and came back an hour later from the other direction and the asswipe had the sprayer hanging OUT THE WINDOW of the truck so he could spray from the other side.  I stood out there with the shotgun and my phone.  I almost wish he HAD squirted the first drop where my children and pets play.  I'd have his dick above my mantle.  I understand the whole 'x number of feet from the middle line' is county right of way.  But when they add themselves 5 feet, it's hardly fair.  3 more years like the past 3 and they will be to the power poles and bumping the cedar tree in the yard.

Back to last night and the other disadvantage of living here.  We took pictures of the clouds all lit up with lightening:

I stood outside taking pictures from the back fenceline out over the pasture and talked to Matt, who was under the pine tree.  It started raining and I headed in to keep my camera dry.  I had to shove past the dogs who were huddled on the back steps, suddenly terrified of the weather when just a few minutes before, they were running in the pasture.

When I got in, Matt was at his computer.  Ugh!  

I have mostly gotten used to the feeling that something in the house does not approve of me, it's like living with a cat-that occasional feeling of a glare at the back of my head, usually when I don't mop the kitchen.  There has always been a family ghost, but female.  This was a man-I thought it was Matt.  I was chattering, he never answered, I was just talking about ISO and how grainy my shots were going to be because I had to crank it up so high and wondering if I should get the Rebel or just wait for a better lightening show to mess with that.

Just after I freaked about it not being Matt, the power went off for a second.  We all screamed.  It was actually a little funny at the time, but later, when I went into the bathroom and reached for the light switch and my hand went into the open closet instead, I got the willies again.  And at 2, when I woke up because I thought one of the kids had come into our room, I got them again...