Friday, May 3, 2013

At Every Age

Matt's Aunt Judy once told me that she had enjoyed her kids at every age and still enjoyed them as adults.  She also told me that once you do some chore when you are married, that chore is yours from then on. 

That last one turned out to be too true until I figured out Matt is not very intuitive, but he takes orders pretty well.  He'll do anything I ask, but I have to ask.  He has never taken it upon himself to tackle anything from taking out the trash to mowing all on his own.  Jake is the exact same way.  The boy will work his arms off on some task I set forth and do so cheerfully, but something like just moving his shoes out of the walkway never even makes a blip on his radar.  He does, however, come in and ASK-every single day-if there's anything I need him to take care of for me.  Ben...well, the baby of THIS family is my personal pet monkey.  I will make an effort to get him in better shape for marriage or just life on his own.  Eventually.  I have to say that's the only living vicariously I have done with my kids-I was the baby and I was not babied enough.  My whole childhood was crappy and abbreviated. (Why is abbreviated such a long word?)  Theirs is as long as I can make it and pretty cushy, Ben the most.  They still play the better part of every day.

But that first one...that honestly had never occurred to me before, I must have thought there was some great phase and the rest was awful.  I heard 'they grow up so fast' and 'two is a horrible age' and 'puberty is the worst' and heard dire warnings about pre-teen girls, bossy little girls, muddy boys, 'boys will be boys' which, honest to God is the BIGGEST load of crap, EVER.  I hate that saying nearly as much as I hate 'put on your big girl panties'.  I am a size 16 and that's AFTER losing 40 pounds.  What the hell else kind of panties would I have?? 


I have enjoyed the kids at every age and it has gone too fast and I think ahead a year-Jake graduates next May.  Chan will be heading into the 11th grade and Ben will be starting high school. 

I was in the tub (surprise!) yesterday and Nia went tappy tappy through the little hallway and Chan went in to talk to Ben and the front door opened and shut 5 times, I heard the boys thunder past the window yelling with the dogs making just as much racket running in their mini pack and I have to wonder-how much longer will I have noise around all day?  At what point will it be just the fan and the fridge and the heat pump kicking off and on?  The crunch of gravel as the mail is delivered, the occasional windy day making the eaves whistle.


I guess I want to prove to myself that I AM paying attention, that time passing is being noted, that every day is one day closer to the next stage.  I am sad at times that while I am well aware of nearly every 'first' for each kid, I don't remember many of the 'lasts'.  The last time I tied their shoe for them or walked them across the street, ran the bath, did the seat belt buckle or poured their drink.  Don't get me wrong, growing up and becoming independent is absolutely the goal of the whole operation, but dang.  It's hard. I hope Judy is right.

About Me

Unschooling mama from the start with 2014, 2016 and 2018 graduation dates. I enjoy camping, reading, swimming, hiking and photography.