Monday, July 19, 2010

Nine!

Okay, so in the last 6 weeks, I have given up (or really cut back on):
kid cereal
chocolate
other candy
Little Debbies  *sigh*
sweet tea
pasta
pizza
breads
cookies
cake
brownies
ice cream

I have cut some totally out, (bye, Debbie) and started using the dull-but effective measuring cup for the rest.
I did have a slice of cake at Matt's birthday, no cookies or brownies, though.  I measure out my measly 3/4 cup of kid cereal a couple times a week.  I can't seem to give up the sugar or the artificial colors.  Hmm.  Though 3/4 cup of Cookie Crisp is only 100 calories...compared to nearly 220 in the same amount of All-Bran.

I have not had any ice cream, which is no hardship, I don't like it anyway.  We have been making sugar-free Jell-o a couple times a week.  I split a chocolate bar with Matt over the weekend, but surprisingly considering how I used to buy one every time I went grocery shopping, I don't miss them or crave them.  Half was enough and it was the first one in a long time.  They seem WAY too sweet now, cloying almost.  It may be the heat, I don't like chocolate when it's hot out.


The thing I have not given up yet is diet soda.  So, today, for a week, I am going to try it.  I managed nearly a month earlier in the year and fell off the wagon.  Diet Dr. Pepper is just that good.  LOL



My birthday is the 31st and I am hoping to have only 5 pounds to go by then. 12 days for 4 pounds is still doable in the 'safe loss' range of 2 pounds a week.  The thing is, I keep stalling out and staying the same weight for 3-5 days before dropping a pound overnight.  So, I may not make it.  I am hoping I will see a change with dropping the soda.  We have been eating a LOT of whole foods, fresh veggies and fruits, cheese, omelets and baked fish and chicken breasts.  I am not getting many fillers or additives or fake sugar from foods-mainly just the sodas.  *sigh*  And the caffeine and carbonation can't be helping.


It's hard.  Cutting back on calories, keeping up with everything I eat and do all day, making myself exercise at least SOME each day-all of that has been boring, but not really HARD.  This will be hard.


But I am proud of myself.  Yes, I whined, yes, I cheated with a bowl of mac and cheese just last Friday and yes, I have actually told total strangers how much I despise weight plateaus while looking at oranges and trying to remember if they are good for me or if that was public school propaganda to up the value of orange trees.  But in the end, I have managed to lose all the weight I put on over the winter and another 6 pounds to boot.  I don't want to jinx myself, but I am .5 pounds from my lowest point in 2 and a half years.  And 9 pounds from weighing less than I have in 7 years.  

I feel so...stupid? something anyway, for being SO close and not DOING it.  Is that lazy?  Is it fear?  Do I have a shell on purpose? Do I feel somehow that I don't deserve to be comfortable in my own skin?  I have wondered why I have been so willing to carry this weight around.  I weigh-right now-55 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant with Jake.  That's a LOT of weight, I would not willingly put that on each morning or take that much on a backpacking trip.  55 pounds would be so much weight, I would stagger and if I managed to carry it, my back and legs would hurt for days afterward.  And that's 16 pounds less than where I was a few months back!  I am astonished sometimes when I bare-bones my actions and see how screwed up I am.  



Okay, well, back to the work in progress.  I will do pics soon!  I should be keeping up with this.