Ben and I nearly froze yesterday, so I finally called Mr. Woods, the guy who fixed the AC in the spring and described what's going on. He is backed up about a week and said we needed to call someone else to come out, but stayed on the phone with me and then Matt to talk us through a few troubleshooting things. The inside unit is blowing, but the outside unit is not coming on, so the house has been being heated via the heat strips in the attic, which over time will add up to a phenomenal bill.
We have to check the wiring between the thermostat and the outside unit because the signal is not getting through is what it boils down to. I was really pleased with how well I was able to plug the new bulbs into the van earlier in the week when I put on the new tail light-that's about the extent of my electrical ability. I redid the wiring in the camper a few years ago, but it has ONE wire system that goes to 2 outlets and an overheat light bulb. And it's all exposed.
Last night, we went into town and I dropped the kids off at Gina's and went to help Matt set up his drums. I hung out at a BAR for the next 5 hours. eep! Bobby and Gina showed up around 7:30 and Mark came in around 9:30, thank goodness I was not by myself. Richard, who has played guitar to Matt's drums for nearly as long as we have been married, is an electrician and he has no fear of wiring. He offered to come out today and look it over. Thinks it will be a simple fix. That's not what my brain was saying last night when I cried off all of my mascara, but then again, my brain is well known for its sabotage skills.
At the bar, I enjoyed myself mainly by people watching as chatting consisted of snippets between songs, yelling across the table or getting right in someone's ear. I never knew people danced like that, or that such unattractive people dressed up and went out anyway.
Also, in the bathroom hall, I was a little confused about if I was an Inboard or an Outboard. Once, when I was 9-10, we went to a really fancy seafood place and I went to the bathroom on my own and realized when I walked in the hallway and got to the door, it was the men's room. Then I nearly fainted from embarrassment and worried everyone would know what I had nearly done. I turned to go into the women's bathroom door at the opposite end of the short hallway and it was a kitchen entrance. The women's bathroom was on the whole other side of the restaurant. I was in a hall and everyone KNEW I was in a hall and I was too young to work there, so obviously they ALL knew I was in the men's room. I remember having to lean against the wall, I was SO horrified to go out and face the people who had probably all stopped eating so they could stare at me.
I finally slunk to the table and did not go to the bathroom until we got home, 4 hours later. I don't remember eating, though I don't remember a soul even glancing up either. THIS all stemmed from when I was in 1st grade, my mother taught at a church school and my brother and I were playing chase and he ran into the boys room and called me-this was just before the school opened and the signs were not up yet. I walked in and he said I was going to Hell for sure because I was unnatural and was in the BOYS BATHROOM which meant I was an easy girl and God hated me and would punish me. So the whole Inboard Outboard thing seemed a bad trick, I don't like having to think about which bathroom to use, I NEED to get it right. 6 year old inner Esther can't handle much more bathroom drama.
I enjoyed myself at the bar, despite my going into it with my hair unbrushed because of heater drama and being really nervous about being around that many strangers. I used to count cars in the parking lot and if there were more than 10, I would wait to grocery shop. Too many people. I have gotten over that, other than occasional relapses when I am really tired or stressed about something else, I can shop even in crowds, though I don't LIKE it. But a bar, that's crowded and you go to see people and to been seen. People go there to meet new people and to have fun with strangers. As introverted as I am, I spent most of yesterday in a panic about going. By the time the heating unit issue was revealed, I was a total mess of pathetic. I gazed longingly at my copy of Joe Hill's book and the pile of blankets on the bed and thought I could just...stay home. Go next time.
But, I got up and put on my shoes and wiped the rest of the mascara off my cheeks and marveled at how light my eyes go when I have a squall. Strangers eyes in my own head, a head I am well aware I barely have any control over. Sometimes my brain seems to be connected to Hannibal Lecter, when he whispers things and makes people kill themselves or cry so hard they choke to death on their own tongues. It will lash out, I imagine to amuse itself. It's favorite trick is to run a slideshow mixed with the kids or my pets injured or worse while I am trying to talk to someone about something mundane. I stop talking mid-sentence and have to start slamming mental cabinets and rolling down storage unit doors and slapping on padlocks. It's totally normal to worry about harm coming to those you love. It's not totally normal to talk about a loaf of bread and your brain pop up a field of grain, a threshing machine, a farmer in a straw hat, a child impaled on a scarecrow pole, a truck of wheat, a bakers oven, a row of fresh bread and our elderly cat's severed head.
I am VERY visual, obviously, my brain works all the time in movie snippets and still frames. I see photos I NEED to take, even if I can't always capture them the way I want. I think my brain is bored with my headspace. I read and think and do and move and take photos and plan and sleep and daydream and talk and read more and write and it's still just buzzing like an angry bee. Not enough, not enough, not enough. Not right, not good, not enough. Fail, fail, fail.
In other news, if the next 2 weeks go like the last 2 weeks, I will be able to announce the first 40 pounds are GONE by Jake's birthday! I have not been giving it much attention because it's sliding off again. 40 pounds. That's SO much weight. I can re-apply for life insurance and get a better rate. Insane. LOL! I am so pleased, but I am not done yet. Even Evil Brain has muttered a little 'hmmm' of impressed and has kept out of it lately. I honestly think it wants to see what it will be like with a different outlook, a different build. It's something new. LOL
